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Well folks, its finally Monday and you know what that means?
THE DETOX IS OVERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REAL FOOD!!!!!!!!!! A LOT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I survived the detox and couldn’t recommend it more. I lost 9 lbs. NINE POUNDS!!! CAPS LOCK & EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
I also feel great, my skin looks good and I have a lot of energy. Did i mention I lost 9 lbs and can fit into clothes i haven’t been able to in a while?
It is AWESOME.
So now I have to come up with a new plan of how to STAY healthy now that I’ve gotten myself healthy.
I’m going to try and stay as close as I can to eating healthy while integrating the protein and carbs back in. Salads for lunch or healthy sandwiches I make myself. Yogurt to snack on or for breakfast (although this morning I tried eating one for breakfast and it was painfully too sweet.) and fruit fruit fruit and more fruit. Rice cakes too. I’ll eat healthy, low sodium soups from Trader Joes (got their butternut squash soup yesterday and I’m going to try it tonight, yummo!! Also adore their tomato and roasted red pepper.), make more healthy chicken dishes for dinner instead of always eating out (conserving money too!) and well….I could use some help.
What are some of your favorite healthy recipes that are easy to make?
So I went to TJ Maxx tonight and bought myself an incredibly cute pair of jeans that fit me perfectly. It was an odd size, one based on hip sizes and so I had no real idea just what size I was buying into. I loved the jeans, they make me look thin so I got them.
I get home and of course I have to know what size they REALLY are. (this is my brain going ohh is the running working, have i dropped sizes?)
And then I cried. Because not only is it worse than what I thought, its the biggest size i’ve EVER WORN. Even at my fattest 8 years ago, I wore smaller sizes. Here I was, thinking I was getting a size comparable to a 4 or a 6 and it was even larger than that. I want to curl up in a ball and never come out of my room ever again.
I hate that my weight and the size pants I wear has this effect on me. I like how I can be in a good mood watching a very tall Phil Dalhausser playing beach volleyball and daydreaming about my date with Michael Phelps later and then on a random spur of the moment decision to google guess jeans and their sizes, cut that mood to shreds. I hate that I am doing this running routine and making an effort to be healthier (even though I’m failing) and not seeing any results. I know its only been 2 weeks but usually my body reacts VERY QUICKLY. I moved to nyc and dropped 10 lbs within a couple weeks and was visibly smaller.
Its frustrating the death out of me and I want to just give up and accept the fact that I’m not going to be thin again. I want to so badly, I look at pictures of myself just last summer when I thought I had gained so much weight but really was still so small. I wish I was that small. I wish I was back to even my AVERAGE weight which is still 15 lbs lower than what I am now. I wish I could fit in all my old pairs of jeans that are beautiful and are longing to be worn again.
Damn you guess jeans. Damn you horrible metabolism.
I’m off to go to my pity party.
I have failed at this whole diet thing this week. Yesterday? Lets do a recap….
Breakfast: Banana and Oatmeal (an innocent start)
Lunch: Asparagus from last nights dinner (oh leftovers really sucked btw) and then picadillo, yellow rice and fried plantains from the cuban place near work.
Snack: a square of chocolate and a banana chocolate vivanno from Starbucks
Dinner: a “sampler” at the mexican place where I had two margaritas, which included 2 mozzarella sticks, one quarter of a quesadilla, 1 chicken finger and numerous plain chips and salsa.
Only exercise? Walking to work.
I took a sick day and combined it with a mental health day and all was good. I did manage to get out and exercise a little and managed to be pretty good with eating too.
I tried running again but my legs were having NONE of that. So I walked vigorously around the resevoir for 1.5 miles. I am hoping to be able to run tomorrow.
Today for eating I tried to be healthy. I almost failed when I got the urge for Tasti D Lite but when I couldn’t find one (i live in nyc, this should’t be hard!!) I gave up and went home and saved myself from a sugary treat I didn’t need.
Breakfast: Cheerios with 1 banana and skim milk
Lunch: salmon and avocado sushi
Dinner: I made this recipe which I found through Slice of Pink‘s Whip It Up contest. It turned out really yummy and I was pleased because hi? I have a love affair with goat cheese which was the main ingredient. I don’t know how healthy it was but it couldn’t have been particularly bad cause it had calcium and there was veggies in it! Right? Right?
I also had a couple handfuls of chocolate chips for dessert (not full handfuls). This sugar habit is proving a bitch to kick.
As I was running around the resevoir in central park, my very first run there in the five years I have lived in New York City, I decided I needed to document my transformation into a healthier version of myself.
Its not that I’m overweight. I am within my healthy BMI range, I am by no means “fat” in the traditional sense of the word.
What I am, is unhappy with how I look. I am 5’2, 122 pounds. Relatively small but when you’re used to being 100-110 and even a pound difference shows, its a bit overwhelming to be 122. I have fat in places I’ve never had before, rolls that leave me incredibly uncomfortable in anything remotely form fitting, that doesn’t resemble a garbage bag. I find myself folding my arms across my middle, to hide my stomach and slowly disappearing waist. The only supposed benefit from this are my enormous boobs which are topics of many conversations with boy and girl friends alike.
Over the course of the last year I have gained 24 pounds thanks to a change in lifestyle, start of a new job where I sit a lot and divulge in Crumbs cupcakes, and have slacked off on my 90 dollars a month gym membership. I’ve become pretty lazy, despite walking to and from work, a good 100 blocks a day. So with a family wedding in a month and my general hatred towards my body (and the lack of energy, etc) I’ve decided to kick it up a notch and really kick my ass into gear.
I’m not waiting for the new year, I’m not waiting for some big monumentous occasion. I am determined to get healthy and I’m going to document it here, on this new blog.
Some of you may know me from my other blog, where I write about my dating escapades, shopaholism and general stuff going on in my world. Some of you may not read me there. I’m keeping the two blogs seperate.
Here I will keep track of what I eat, what types of exersize I am doing and other fitness/health related things. Maybe put up some healthy recipes I discover, any setbacks I may suffer. And of course, hopefully motivate/be motivated by others to get in shape and be healthy.
So this? Is Ashley doing fitness.
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