This? Is Not the Health I Ordered!

Detox Me

I have decided that in order to kickstart my getting healthy, I need to go on a detox. My roommate is a physical therapist and swears by this one and recommends it to all her clients. I figure its a safe way to go and it seems pretty healthy.

The deets?

Eat vegetables and only vegetables.

Thats it. You can’t eat anything other than leafy greens (and i’ve thrown in some other veggies for taste) (because leafy greens are boring. And gross)

Last night I started it by juicing beets, kale, collard greens, spinach, celery and 5 apples for the juice (and to sweeten it a little). I made a gigantic mess and thanks to the beets, it looked like I had commited mass murder right there in my kitchen.

This shake is my breakfast, it is so gross but has to be done. The rest of my meals consist of salad with lemon juice and olive oil, corn, peas, carrots, and anything else i can get my hands on thats veggies.

And let me tell you, day one? KILLER.

I am EXHAUSTED, starving and eating carrots as if i had suddenly morphed into a bunny. I am having dreams about chocolate and COTTAGE CHEESE. (oh and going to vegas, but thats besides the point)

The reason for torturing myself? To become healthy, duh. And to cleanse out my system. Apparently the first two days are the worst (one more day…one more day…) but at the end my tastebuds will have changed and I won’t crave sugar or salt as much as I used to. It will shrink my stomach so my appetite won’t be so huge. My skin will get better and over all I’ll feel healthier.

Must. Keep. Eyes. On. Prize.

Wish me luck! i’ll try to document it all…unfortunately i was so preoccupied with the shake I forgot to take pictures of the blood beet bath.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Shameless Promotion « This? Is Not the Life I Ordered! pingbacked on 9 years, 6 months ago


  1. * Paige says:

    Good luck! I’ve been meaning to do one also…One of these days I’ll buckle down and get it done. I’m a complete sugar addict, so I think it would be a great move. Hope you make it through your detox!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  2. * Yoda says:

    Now would be a particularly bad time to invite you out to a bar and chomp a fatty burger in front of you, wouldn’t it?

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  3. * lily says:

    I’m inspired, and I may join you on this. However, it will have to wait until after I move (a week and a half) and subsequently, after Thanksgiving. Because 1) I have to eat through the rest of what’s in my house so as to pack as little as possible, and 2) I am NOT getting through Thanksgiving on leafy greens 🙂 Good luck!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  4. * Shelley says:

    Uh, so how long does one have to be on this veggie detox? I want to try it but it sounds like torture. Also I’ve heard the odors (i.e. farts!) that result from this diet are like rotting vegetables. Pleasant.

    TMI? Sorry.

    Good luck with that. I’ll keep tabs on this blog to see if the diet is worth doing worth doing.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  5. * Shelley says:

    Ha. Should have proof read that one…

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  6. * Angel says:

    Ok, I really need to try a detox but I’m not sure about the leafy green one you are on. All I know is that I DESPERATELY need to detox.. I was thinking of just drinking tea for 3 days. Heh. I have to do something. I feel toxic all over and I know it’s not good. But I’m too weak to try anything.. no will power at all.

    Me, without Dr. pepper won’t be pretty…. oy.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  7. * heidi says:

    omg i want to do that. email me more info. I saw a couple of posts like this on tumblr about people doing detox things like this. i’m thinking about doing it next week before i completely pig out for the holidays. suggestions?

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: