This? Is Not the Health I Ordered!

Post-Detox Notes

So I’ve returned to normal food once again. And boy, was I returned. Thanksgiving kicked my ass and I have never been so full IN MY LIFE. Good news, I didn’t gain all the weight back.

Bad news? I gained 4 lbs. IN A WEEK. Um thats a lot. Granted its water weight but still.

Luckily it doesn’t show as much as I thought it might, and I’m still trying to eat healthy and haven’t returned to the insane snacking that I previously did. I also have been going to the gym and plan on continuing to go even more. I’m determined to lose more weight, even with the holidays kicking me around like I was there bitch.

I am healthier, and thanksgiving was a lot healthier than it could have been. But that stuffing really had it out for me. As well as the sweet potatoes, cornbread AND ALL THOSE DAMN CARBS. 


So now I begin dieting the regular way, no crazy detoxes, fads or anything else, just plain old eating healthy. Has anyone tried the detox yet?


The End of Detox; the Beginning of a New Plan

Well folks, its finally Monday and you know what that means?

THE DETOX IS OVERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REAL FOOD!!!!!!!!!! A LOT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I survived the detox and couldn’t recommend it  more. I lost 9 lbs. NINE POUNDS!!! CAPS LOCK & EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!

I also feel great, my skin looks good and I have a lot of energy. Did i mention I lost 9 lbs and can fit into clothes i haven’t been able to in a while?


So now I have to come up with a new plan of how to STAY healthy now that I’ve gotten myself healthy.

I’m going to try and stay as close as I can to eating healthy while integrating the protein and carbs back in. Salads for lunch or healthy sandwiches I make myself. Yogurt to snack on or for breakfast (although this morning I tried eating one for breakfast and it was painfully too sweet.) and fruit fruit fruit and more fruit. Rice cakes too. I’ll eat healthy, low sodium soups from Trader Joes (got their butternut squash soup yesterday and I’m going to try it tonight, yummo!! Also adore their tomato and roasted red pepper.), make more healthy chicken dishes for dinner instead of always eating out (conserving money too!) and well….I could use some help.

What are some of your favorite healthy recipes that are easy to make?

Detox: Day 3 (The Details Post!)

Day 3 and my willpower still holds strong. I’ve stuck with the detox and I’m rather proud of me. I am really hoping that I can stick to being healthy when I come off this and start eating more regular food again.

It was a little harder for me yesterday as I started getting antsy and bored and when I do that, I eat. It took a lot of strength  not to eat the australian chocolate cookies that I’m hoarding in my desk drawer that I got from a coworker. I’m being tested but so far I’m not as hungry as I usually am and I’m seeing a difference in weight already which rocks.

So I have gotten quite a few emails about the details of this detox and so I’m going to list them out in detail here! I would love to hear of anyone who is going to try this and what they think of it! I’m already sold on it and I’m only on day four so far!! I feel so healthy and have so much more energy now its amazing.

The Deets:

For one week you can only eat vegetables, preferably leafy greens but you can also eat peppers, cucumbers, carrots, celery, peas, corn, basically anything veggie, that isn’t pre-processed, canned, pickled or dried (frozen fresh veggies is ok!). For salads you can put dressing like oil and vinegar but preferably lemon juice and olive oil for taste (I actually usually do this anyway, its a great light summer dressing). For breakfast my roommate suggests making a shake out of vegetables. If you have access to a juicer this makes it really easy.

I suggest doing one big batch of it (about half a gallon lasts 4-5 days) because its messy to make and annoying as hell to do often. I used kale, spinach, collard greens, celery, 5 apples and 2 beets.  You can also use carrots too. Or substitute out the beets if you don’t like them, i happen to like them so it wasn’t a problem. (You will want to boil the beets until tender, I’d never worked with them and attempting to cut them raw? IS NOT FUN)

This is breakfast and is awful tasting at first but you get used to it. (even by the second day I wasn’t hating it AS much).

So basically all I am eating is salads with a lot of veggies on it and snacking a lot on celery and carrots. The first day or two is bad, you’ll be hungry (no, scratch that-STARVING), you’ll probably get bad headaches and be really tired (for me, just the first day) because all the toxins are leaving the body but after that you arent as hungry and you get full more easily and it won’t bother you as much. Oh, and drink a lot of water!!! and i mean a lot. You dehydrate really easily.

You can’t drink any alcohol or coffee but I’ve been having herbal tea with no sugar or anything added to it so I figure that is ok. I also have been having a banana as a mid morning snack, I figure I can use the potassium and its fruit so it can’t be that bad!!

Good luck to those that are trying this and let me know how it goes for you 🙂

Detox: Day 2

Well, i have survived day one and all its cookie tray glory. I went to a design event last night at a gorgeous apartment on the upper west side (seriously, i was drooling) and there was an assortment of cheeses, crackers and my ultimate favorite–black and white cookies.

And I didn’t eat one, not even a crumb.

My god I’m being so healthy it hurts.

Today isn’t as bad as yesterday, i’m not as hungry, not as tired. I didn’t gag every time i took a sip of my veggie shake this morning. I still am craving the cookies that were present at the lunch and learn this afternoon (which were sooooooooo hard to resist) and that are now sitting on the table near my cubicle. Willpower is being tested to its LIMITS.

People aren’t understanding the purpose of my doing this; my coworkers are taunting me with cookies, candy and other sweets, constantly asking me why would i ever want to put myself through that. People mention burgers to me in my comments. (*COUGH*YODA*COUGH*) They think I’m just doing this to lose weight. Its ONE of the reasons I am, but the main purpose is to get healthy, to cleanse out my body and to start fresh. A jumping point to a healthier lifestyle and to motivate me to eat better and work out more.

I hate having to explain this at EVERY SINGLE MEAL and it is only day two!

I love how much willpower I have but I hope i can keep it up once i’m off the formal detox. I really hope I don’t slide back into eating sweets…

Detox Me

I have decided that in order to kickstart my getting healthy, I need to go on a detox. My roommate is a physical therapist and swears by this one and recommends it to all her clients. I figure its a safe way to go and it seems pretty healthy.

The deets?

Eat vegetables and only vegetables.

Thats it. You can’t eat anything other than leafy greens (and i’ve thrown in some other veggies for taste) (because leafy greens are boring. And gross)

Last night I started it by juicing beets, kale, collard greens, spinach, celery and 5 apples for the juice (and to sweeten it a little). I made a gigantic mess and thanks to the beets, it looked like I had commited mass murder right there in my kitchen.

This shake is my breakfast, it is so gross but has to be done. The rest of my meals consist of salad with lemon juice and olive oil, corn, peas, carrots, and anything else i can get my hands on thats veggies.

And let me tell you, day one? KILLER.

I am EXHAUSTED, starving and eating carrots as if i had suddenly morphed into a bunny. I am having dreams about chocolate and COTTAGE CHEESE. (oh and going to vegas, but thats besides the point)

The reason for torturing myself? To become healthy, duh. And to cleanse out my system. Apparently the first two days are the worst (one more day…one more day…) but at the end my tastebuds will have changed and I won’t crave sugar or salt as much as I used to. It will shrink my stomach so my appetite won’t be so huge. My skin will get better and over all I’ll feel healthier.

Must. Keep. Eyes. On. Prize.

Wish me luck! i’ll try to document it all…unfortunately i was so preoccupied with the shake I forgot to take pictures of the blood beet bath.

Holiday FAIL

Halloween kicked my ass.

As in I gained 5 lbs. FIVE POUNDS. On top of all the weight I had put on before because lord knows the minute it got dark out early, I stopped working out. That was…over a month ago.

Last night I went to the gym for the first time in a while and the elliptical kicked my ass to a bloody pulp before throwing it on the ground and dragging it all over the place. But I needed it because the scales? Are awful. I haven’t seen that number EVER. It even surpasses my fat stage 8 years ago.

I’m going to cry. (After i throw away the rest of my friggin candy.)

funny pictures of cats with captions


PS. Changed the blog name, to keep it in line with my other blog 🙂

Oh, Hai….

Yes, I’ve disappeared. I can barely keep up with one blog, two is a chore it feels like! This doesn’t mean that I’ve been failing at my fitness/health goals. Well ok I was for a little while and may  have not wanted to document THAT but recently, I’ve been doing quite good. I may have even lost some weight!

I’ve been eating salads for lunch and dinner with fresh veggies and cheese and egg and either lemon juice and olive oil for dressing or balsamic vinegar.

I’ve been running 2-3 times a week (I’m finding I sometimes just can’t mentally do it. Weird right?) and walking to work every morning and back home at night.

I have stuck to my word and have gotten rid of sugar and salt and creamy foods. It took a couple weeks to completely eliminate (or at least scale back enormously!) but I’ve done it and I’m seeing results (sure, its all water weight but I retain water like NONE OTHER so therefore its a good thing!).

This makes for a very happy Ashley. I feel good about myself, and my body is starting to feel more comfortable to me. Its still no where near what I want it to be but the back fat and the side things are slowly shrinking. I hope I can keep this up!

Random thought, but don’t you hate how when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror you look kind of trim and fabulous and then you eat a healthy breakfast of Special K and then you’re back to what you looked like the night before? I HATE THAT!

Giving Up

On sugar and salty foods that is. Throw in cream based foods as well and you have my new regiment.

Those three, along with carbs (but who am I kidding, I can’t live without carbs! I’m italian!), are the main culprits to my gaining weight and not being able to shed. I am addicted to all things sweet and salty and while it is a daunting task, its one i’ve done before and was successful.

Unfortunately I was reintroduced last summer to those things and now my tastebuds cry out for them on a daily basis. Its a habit i need to kick, a habit that is packing on the pounds and frustrating the life out of me.

I won’t kick it completely. I’ll still have sugar in my tea, just not as much. I’ll allow myself a treat every now and then. But this constant intake of sugar and salty foods has gotten ridiculous–no, uncontrollable. Its time to take back control of the White House!

No wait, that was just me channeling my inner Obama.

Its time to take back control of my health. There thats better.

Any advice you could give me on how to up the willpower because its SO HARD. Says the girl who had two small slices of cake at the office birthday party….


That is what I have been doing not only in my fitness/healthy routine, but on this blog. Holy hell its been a few huh?

I DID have a few factors working against me working out these past couple weeks. I twisted BOTH my ankles which didn’t allow me to run/walk/exercise much outside of walking/hobbling to work. Then we had a deadline that kept me in the office till 9 at night each night. And then I was on vacation. I did walk roughly 4 miles a day on the beach but it was at a leisurely pace thanks to a small dog whose version of walking consisted of stopping and starting only after I dragged him. (gotta love animals)

Eating? Don’t even get me started. Eating out lunch and dinner for the last week of our deadline killed my diet and then there was this weekend with snacks, ice cream, and homemade italian food. Last night it was pizza for dinner since we needed something quick before heading to the US Open (fabulous by the way!). I didn’t eat anything while at the Open outside of my vodka and soda I got for a whopping 10 dollars. (yikes!)

Today my ankles are feeling loads better and I think I will be able to start back up running tonight. I’m currently eating Moose Tracks ice cream from the little bodega down the street and hating my coworker for flashing a buy one get one free coupon in my face. FREE always makes my willpower crumble to the ground.

Starting tonight I am making changes! You will see me once again around this blog (not just writing political nonsense on my other blog like I did today) and I will be back on DIET 2008 and KICKING MY ASS 2008. Leave me some motivation, I sure could use it.

Damn You Guess Jeans

So I went to TJ Maxx tonight and bought myself an incredibly cute pair of jeans that fit me perfectly. It was an odd size, one based on hip sizes and so I had no real idea just what size I was buying into. I loved the jeans, they make me look thin so I got them.

I get home and of course I have to know what size they REALLY are. (this is my brain going ohh is the running working, have i dropped sizes?) 

And then I cried. Because not only is it worse than what I thought, its the biggest size i’ve EVER WORN. Even at my fattest 8 years ago, I wore smaller sizes. Here I was, thinking I was getting a size comparable to a 4 or a 6 and it was even larger than that. I want to curl up in a ball and never come out of my room ever again.

I hate that my weight and the size pants I wear has this effect on me. I like how I can be in a good mood watching a very tall Phil Dalhausser playing beach volleyball and daydreaming about my date with Michael Phelps later and then on a random spur of the moment decision to google guess jeans and their sizes, cut that mood to shreds. I hate that I am doing this running routine and making an effort to be healthier (even though I’m failing) and not seeing any results. I know its only been 2 weeks but usually my body reacts VERY QUICKLY. I moved to nyc and dropped 10 lbs within a couple weeks and was visibly smaller. 

Its frustrating the death out of me and I want to just give up and accept the fact that I’m not going to be thin again. I want to so badly, I look at pictures of myself just last summer when I thought I had gained so much weight but really was still so small. I wish I was that small. I wish I was back to even my AVERAGE weight which is still 15 lbs lower than what I am now. I wish I could fit in all my old pairs of jeans that are beautiful and are longing to be worn again. 

Damn you guess jeans. Damn you horrible metabolism.

I’m off to go to my pity party.